Seeking visions is how I spent most my nights, in my own world, at least.
⟪ so the fact that he downright avoids them is strange, but then – it's a complex craft, the mastery of which takes years and years, and many a priest or priestess has fallen victim to foolishness over them. she'd shown stannis a few, and it had always left his sleep more disturbed, his mind filled with dark thoughts. when it can be a choice, she is most keen on respecting it. ⟫
[ he yawns again, a smaller more relaxed one, and dips his head down to rest on the crown of hers. this way he can tuck her in closer, enjoy her warming presence even as he speaks on a sour topic. ]
I see seconds of the future and they aren't always what they appear. I don't avoid them so much as I don't follow them. No one steers my path but me.
[ indeed, there have been stories of jedi who saw a vision and followed it down the wrong path. he's seen it happen first hand with his apprentice too. kanan trusts in the force, but that's different from letting it dictate his path. he makes decisions for his path, not the whims of the force. ]
⟪ she lets him draw her close, and feels herself relaxing against him again in spite of the subject. like this, she can gently, lightly caress his skin, and not think too much on the fact that she does not have a path of her own, and should perhaps not grow quite so attached to a mortal person from another world. ⟫
Past, present, and future, and all just moments in the flames. It takes a lot of dedication to the art to make any sense of them at all.
⟪ so she understands why. ⟫
But I would not call them unreliable. Ever-changing, yes, but not unreliable.
[ he can't agree with that stance and while he'd normally be inclined to make a fuss over it, it isn't a battle he wants to fight. especially when he's half-asleep and they're so comfortable together. in his head he can imagine making her so mad she'd kick him out, and wouldn't that be a shame?
so he bites his tongue. ]
I don't trust in them. That's just me. If you do, then I hope you're right more than you're wrong.
⟪ she says it with god's own confidence, even as she can tell that this is a subject that has very little but disagreements in store for them. ⟫
So far.
⟪ but why would r'hllor show her stannis' face in the flames, over and over for years, when she'd asked to see her champion? why would she see victory in the flames, only for what jon spoke of to come to pass? only time will tell for certain now. ⟫
There is not a thing I do that I do lightly, Kanan.
[ he definitely killed the mood, and even his response comes out more skeptical than he would have wanted. he sighs and presses a kiss to her head, regretting even bringing the topic up, and wonders if he should get up. whether he does or not, a topic change might be a good idea before he makes her mad. ]
⟪ she does tense up, wrangling with her need to be entirely in the right, her insecurities on things she cannot tell while trapped in fellden, and the understanding that he is both a mortal man and not wholly in the wrong. there's nothing riskier than following a false vision – but she's practiced her art for so many years, she acknowledges that nothing is writ in stone ––
she takes a deep breath. relaxes again, though if he wishes to stand, she will not stop him. ⟫
I would not mind staying like this.
⟪ he did, after all, change the subject. ⟫
It's strange. I am used to the war, and unused to having time of my own to spend. What of you?
Yeah, tell me about it. [ he breathes out, not quite ready to leave her side even when he is. ] I spend my days fighting for my life or training for the next fight. Not so much here.
[ he does his meditations, practices his forms, trains with his apprentice, but every day does not bring struggle or battle in fellden. most days are peaceful than not, and it isn't a peace he's used to. it's uncomfortable in its simplicity and he waits for there to be a catch to resting here with her and not having to wonder if he'll die later the same day. he'll keep waiting. ]
How do you spend your days during the war? You don't just stare at fire all day I hope.
[ he's really asking to be kicked out with every word he breathes. she's too nice to him. ]
⟪ she does sit up, though – evidently, she is beginning to feel just a little cross on the matter. too many ways the future can be altered, she can hardly keep them all unseen? ⟫
My fighting looks different than yours, is all. And when I am not in council, I practice my arts to be prepared for the worst of the war that is yet to come. ⟪ magic, she means, even if it sounds a bit as though she's taken to embroidery. ⟫ Perhaps this place merely seeks to weaken us with false securities.
[ his arms fall to his sides as she pulls away, body shifting a little further up the bed to accommodate her. he sits up as she speaks and now he definitely misses the silence of the morning. ah well, back to the gears in his mind turning unpleasantly. ]
Security isn't bad, it's what we fight for. You - we - could use that once in a while.
[ training is important of course, and he pushes for it rigorously, but everyone could use a break, some levity in life. he looks forward to the day he can put down his lightsaber once and for all and never have to fight another battle. of course as he thinks that he remembers the all too unpleasant knowledge that the only retirement he'll get is six feet under. ]
⟪ it had been much nicer to be in his arms. it had made security quite believable. she leaves him the blanket, at least. ⟫
You are not wrong. We both must know this thing we fight for.
⟪ nothing he's said, except for some shades of his time in training, made it sound as if he is overly familiar with the concept of feeling safe. ⟫
You are not wrong on many counts. ⟪ she sighs. ⟫ You merely touched upon the sorest ones. ⟪ it's not quite an apology for the way their talk of visions went, but it's –– an acknowledgement. ⟫
[ he has no response to that, or rather no immediate one that demands to be released before his brain has a moment to process if it's a good thing to even say. instead he huff and brings his hands up to his hair, smoothing and gripping out the ends to pull into his ponytail again. ]
Don't worry about it. [ it's a sore subject for him too, but that's not her fault. keep cool, kanan. ] We don't have to talk.
[ he did say as much in kyst and he'll respect it. she lived in a very different order than he did, and not one bit pleasant from every description she's made of it. ]
I should get going anyway. I need to track down the wolf to make sure it didn't run off somewhere random.
⟪ as ever, she has trouble distinguishing "we don't have to talk" from "i don't want to talk", and errs on the westerosi side of caution – especially when he mentions the wolf, whom he usually speaks of as quite free roaming. she slips out of bed, stretches, then: ⟫
If you wish. ⟪ she steps over to the closet, opens it to her robes, and sorts through the hidden pockets until she finds what she's been seeking, and returns to where he was. she extends her hand in an offering – ⟫
This sachet contains the powder I spoke of, the kind that can kill fire. There is not much left, and it wouldn't help a gods wood. But it may keep you safe in a pinch.
[ he only now remembers her mentioning it. last night doesn't feel real anymore, a blur of little sleep, nightmares of burning alive, and a hauntingly warm song bringing him to rest. he's curious about what's inside, but he'll stick his nose into it recklessly when she's not around.
he stands up and out of bed to take it, taking the chance to get his tunic off the chair and slide it back on. hm... ]
Hey, so you heard about that festival coming up right? Do you think you'll go?
⟪ everything about her just screams 'life of the party', doesn't it? ⟫
Feasts and such on Dragonstone were always quiet, for the King does not tolerate anything he views as debauchery. ⟪ such as loud laughter. ⟫ I am curious to see what this world does.
⟪ she tilts her head, and if she's a little more attentive just as he dresses himself again, it's nothing, just the thirst. ⟫ What of you?
[ not that melisandre gets out much either he figures. kanan hasn't had many fun nights with the rebellion either, outside the occasional rowdy game that involves accusations of cheating and jedi mind trickery. so, all the games, really. ]
I'll go. Should be interesting. The Gods don't get together often from the sound of things, so might be a good show. [ better than the one they just saw for sure. ] Thinking of going with anyone?
After the play, you would think we had learned a lesson and chose to stay in.
⟪ she is trying to make light of it, of course, and it's true that she is not at all deterred. but she does wonder at what will go wrong this time.
and he is entirely right: to see all those who call themselves gods in one place won't fail to be a spectacle, one way or another.
at the rest of it, though, she is somewhat confused, tilting her head to the side and thinking on it with some sincerity. in her world, it wasn't necessarily a custom to attend a feast in companionship – married couples were a different matter, and before she'd been named a lady in her own right, she'd attended functions as the lady selyse's honoured guest, for instance. it hadn't quite occurred to her to not just go by herself, but she had been on the verge of rather excitedly telling him that they'd be sure to see one another there.
sure, there are others she would look forward to seeing, too, but... ⟫
No, but I would enjoy attending with you, if you have not yet chosen a different companion.
[ a tiny laugh escapes as their thoughts line up, but kanan has always been something of a sucker for punishment. ]
As it turns out - [ he smirks and steps forward to her as he speaks, taking her hand into his along their sides ] - I'm free all night.
[ a charmingly awful line from yours truly to seal the deal. his free hand rises up to brush just under her chin before he dips his head down to tempt her into a kiss. ]
⟪ he can feel the edges of her smile when she closes the gap to kiss him, on tip-toes as she needs to be for this. that could have been another positive to staying in bed, but she's not wholly incorrigible. they each have duties to attend.
she's still touching the side of his face when she withdraws just a little. ⟫
[ his voice is a whispered tease, and his lips a smirk as he kisses her again. a quick peck to the edge of her lips, and nothing more before he draws his face away. he can't give into temptations so quickly, what will the jedi guilt in him say to it? oh, but he wants to. another time. the night of the festival he's sure. ]
⟪ she withdraws only when he does, lowering her hand and mind full of ideas for the night of the festival. you'd think she's learned some patience in her life, and maybe she has, she just need sit down and pray for a little more of that trait. ⟫
And, Kanan? ⟪ she steps over to the bed, where the cat has finally woken and begun a morose wailing for the day's first meal – ⟫ It was nice to have you with me tonight. Perhaps not the wisest thing to say, considering your troubles, but your presence made me find a sleep I rarely fall into.
[ she calls for him as he sets his hand on the door, head turning over his shoulder in attention, and he smiles at her admission. it's warm and makes him feel light, knowing he could bring her calm when she hates the night so much. ]
Glad I could be your pillow. [ a quick joke, he tries to add them in when he can, but in all seriousness- ] I don't know how you manage to sleep so little, but you know where to find me if you ever need some rest.
[ it's just another benefit on top of some others between them. holding her as he slept brought him some peace, even if all he could picture was burning away to nothing. ]
⟪ hard to tell if that's a sigh at the joke or a laugh – spoilers, it's a badly concealed laugh – and she reaches out to pet her cat in an effort to not admit that she enjoys his sense of humour. ⟫
I am blessed. ⟪ which is how she would explain it, though if anything, the blessing isn't complete. she still needs sleep, eventually. ⟫ And I will say the same to you. Whenever you need.
⟪ though she isn't sure how much her presence had helped, but in the end, he had slept – and this is what matters. ⟫ Have a good day.
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no subject
⟪ so the fact that he downright avoids them is strange, but then – it's a complex craft, the mastery of which takes years and years, and many a priest or priestess has fallen victim to foolishness over them. she'd shown stannis a few, and it had always left his sleep more disturbed, his mind filled with dark thoughts. when it can be a choice, she is most keen on respecting it. ⟫
Why is it that you avoid them?
no subject
[ he yawns again, a smaller more relaxed one, and dips his head down to rest on the crown of hers. this way he can tuck her in closer, enjoy her warming presence even as he speaks on a sour topic. ]
I see seconds of the future and they aren't always what they appear. I don't avoid them so much as I don't follow them. No one steers my path but me.
[ indeed, there have been stories of jedi who saw a vision and followed it down the wrong path. he's seen it happen first hand with his apprentice too. kanan trusts in the force, but that's different from letting it dictate his path. he makes decisions for his path, not the whims of the force. ]
no subject
Past, present, and future, and all just moments in the flames. It takes a lot of dedication to the art to make any sense of them at all.
⟪ so she understands why. ⟫
But I would not call them unreliable. Ever-changing, yes, but not unreliable.
no subject
[ he can't agree with that stance and while he'd normally be inclined to make a fuss over it, it isn't a battle he wants to fight. especially when he's half-asleep and they're so comfortable together. in his head he can imagine making her so mad she'd kick him out, and wouldn't that be a shame?
so he bites his tongue. ]
I don't trust in them. That's just me. If you do, then I hope you're right more than you're wrong.
[ mostly bites his tongue. ]
no subject
⟪ she says it with god's own confidence, even as she can tell that this is a subject that has very little but disagreements in store for them. ⟫
So far.
⟪ but why would r'hllor show her stannis' face in the flames, over and over for years, when she'd asked to see her champion? why would she see victory in the flames, only for what jon spoke of to come to pass? only time will tell for certain now. ⟫
There is not a thing I do that I do lightly, Kanan.
no subject
[ he definitely killed the mood, and even his response comes out more skeptical than he would have wanted. he sighs and presses a kiss to her head, regretting even bringing the topic up, and wonders if he should get up. whether he does or not, a topic change might be a good idea before he makes her mad. ]
Any plans today?
no subject
she takes a deep breath. relaxes again, though if he wishes to stand, she will not stop him. ⟫
I would not mind staying like this.
⟪ he did, after all, change the subject. ⟫
It's strange. I am used to the war, and unused to having time of my own to spend. What of you?
no subject
[ he does his meditations, practices his forms, trains with his apprentice, but every day does not bring struggle or battle in fellden. most days are peaceful than not, and it isn't a peace he's used to. it's uncomfortable in its simplicity and he waits for there to be a catch to resting here with her and not having to wonder if he'll die later the same day. he'll keep waiting. ]
How do you spend your days during the war? You don't just stare at fire all day I hope.
[ he's really asking to be kicked out with every word he breathes. she's too nice to him. ]
no subject
⟪ she does sit up, though – evidently, she is beginning to feel just a little cross on the matter. too many ways the future can be altered, she can hardly keep them all unseen? ⟫
My fighting looks different than yours, is all. And when I am not in council, I practice my arts to be prepared for the worst of the war that is yet to come. ⟪ magic, she means, even if it sounds a bit as though she's taken to embroidery. ⟫ Perhaps this place merely seeks to weaken us with false securities.
no subject
Security isn't bad, it's what we fight for. You - we - could use that once in a while.
[ training is important of course, and he pushes for it rigorously, but everyone could use a break, some levity in life. he looks forward to the day he can put down his lightsaber once and for all and never have to fight another battle. of course as he thinks that he remembers the all too unpleasant knowledge that the only retirement he'll get is six feet under. ]
no subject
You are not wrong. We both must know this thing we fight for.
⟪ nothing he's said, except for some shades of his time in training, made it sound as if he is overly familiar with the concept of feeling safe. ⟫
You are not wrong on many counts. ⟪ she sighs. ⟫ You merely touched upon the sorest ones. ⟪ it's not quite an apology for the way their talk of visions went, but it's –– an acknowledgement. ⟫
no subject
Don't worry about it. [ it's a sore subject for him too, but that's not her fault. keep cool, kanan. ] We don't have to talk.
[ he did say as much in kyst and he'll respect it. she lived in a very different order than he did, and not one bit pleasant from every description she's made of it. ]
I should get going anyway. I need to track down the wolf to make sure it didn't run off somewhere random.
no subject
If you wish. ⟪ she steps over to the closet, opens it to her robes, and sorts through the hidden pockets until she finds what she's been seeking, and returns to where he was. she extends her hand in an offering – ⟫
This sachet contains the powder I spoke of, the kind that can kill fire. There is not much left, and it wouldn't help a gods wood. But it may keep you safe in a pinch.
no subject
[ he only now remembers her mentioning it. last night doesn't feel real anymore, a blur of little sleep, nightmares of burning alive, and a hauntingly warm song bringing him to rest. he's curious about what's inside, but he'll stick his nose into it recklessly when she's not around.
he stands up and out of bed to take it, taking the chance to get his tunic off the chair and slide it back on. hm... ]
Hey, so you heard about that festival coming up right? Do you think you'll go?
no subject
⟪ everything about her just screams 'life of the party', doesn't it? ⟫
Feasts and such on Dragonstone were always quiet, for the King does not tolerate anything he views as debauchery. ⟪ such as loud laughter. ⟫ I am curious to see what this world does.
⟪ she tilts her head, and if she's a little more attentive just as he dresses himself again, it's nothing, just the thirst. ⟫ What of you?
no subject
[ not that melisandre gets out much either he figures. kanan hasn't had many fun nights with the rebellion either, outside the occasional rowdy game that involves accusations of cheating and jedi mind trickery. so, all the games, really. ]
I'll go. Should be interesting. The Gods don't get together often from the sound of things, so might be a good show. [ better than the one they just saw for sure. ] Thinking of going with anyone?
[ hint hint, he hints with his own thirst. ]
no subject
⟪ she is trying to make light of it, of course, and it's true that she is not at all deterred. but she does wonder at what will go wrong this time.
and he is entirely right: to see all those who call themselves gods in one place won't fail to be a spectacle, one way or another.
at the rest of it, though, she is somewhat confused, tilting her head to the side and thinking on it with some sincerity. in her world, it wasn't necessarily a custom to attend a feast in companionship – married couples were a different matter, and before she'd been named a lady in her own right, she'd attended functions as the lady selyse's honoured guest, for instance. it hadn't quite occurred to her to not just go by herself, but she had been on the verge of rather excitedly telling him that they'd be sure to see one another there.
sure, there are others she would look forward to seeing, too, but... ⟫
No, but I would enjoy attending with you, if you have not yet chosen a different companion.
no subject
As it turns out - [ he smirks and steps forward to her as he speaks, taking her hand into his along their sides ] - I'm free all night.
[ a charmingly awful line from yours truly to seal the deal. his free hand rises up to brush just under her chin before he dips his head down to tempt her into a kiss. ]
no subject
she's still touching the side of his face when she withdraws just a little. ⟫
All night?
⟪ okay, maybe she is wholly incorrigibly. ⟫
no subject
Maybe.
[ his voice is a whispered tease, and his lips a smirk as he kisses her again. a quick peck to the edge of her lips, and nothing more before he draws his face away. he can't give into temptations so quickly, what will the jedi guilt in him say to it? oh, but he wants to. another time. the night of the festival he's sure. ]
Meet you there?
no subject
⟪ she withdraws only when he does, lowering her hand and mind full of ideas for the night of the festival. you'd think she's learned some patience in her life, and maybe she has, she just need sit down and pray for a little more of that trait. ⟫
And, Kanan? ⟪ she steps over to the bed, where the cat has finally woken and begun a morose wailing for the day's first meal – ⟫ It was nice to have you with me tonight. Perhaps not the wisest thing to say, considering your troubles, but your presence made me find a sleep I rarely fall into.
no subject
Glad I could be your pillow. [ a quick joke, he tries to add them in when he can, but in all seriousness- ] I don't know how you manage to sleep so little, but you know where to find me if you ever need some rest.
[ it's just another benefit on top of some others between them. holding her as he slept brought him some peace, even if all he could picture was burning away to nothing. ]
no subject
I am blessed. ⟪ which is how she would explain it, though if anything, the blessing isn't complete. she still needs sleep, eventually. ⟫ And I will say the same to you. Whenever you need.
⟪ though she isn't sure how much her presence had helped, but in the end, he had slept – and this is what matters. ⟫ Have a good day.