voktys: (kaerīnnon)
𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔯𝔢 ([personal profile] voktys) wrote2020-04-06 02:38 pm
blindrun: (kanan54)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-16 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ so much different, he understands. she comes from such a strange place, one that seems untouched by the technology he thoughtlessly takes as a granted given, but it's rare for him to be stumped when she speaks of her upbringing. it's something he has taken note of before, but has begun to appreciate. he has a lot of friends but none of them could ever understand growing up in a temple, apart from the rest of the galaxy, the way she can.

faith matters, but so do friends. he's glad she has accepted him with just a simple word.
]

I can't promise I won't wake up again. If that bothers you, I can always sleep on the floor.

[ he won't apologize for the nightmares, but the least he can do is not ruin her sleep alongside his. it would be a pity to not have her, to hold onto someone and feel safe, but he's spent more nights unsafe than not. ]
Edited 2020-04-16 22:39 (UTC)
blindrun: (QxWEc1k)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-16 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Seriously?

[ that's insane. how can she not sleep for that long? he assumes, the same as her unnaturally warm skin and fire magic, that it must be associated with her worship. a blessing from the god she serves.

he wants to question more, but the mix of exhaustion coupled with her resting so warmly on him again makes him pull back. why ruin the moment? they can always talk later. he doesn't want to make things complicated, even as his mind buzzes.

(it occurs to him now too that she might not have slept in kyst. it would explain how she got rid of that cat hair.)

kanan yawns heav, trying to get his brain to shut up, and wraps an arm around melisandre's back in turn to hold her closer.
]

Well, you're doing a good job already. [ his voice returns back to a mutter, his body's limit starting to come again after winding down with her soothing voice. ] Maybe you should sing for me.

[ it's a joke, mostly. he just wants to hear her voice. a warm guide to his rest, something to cling to as he tries again to plummet into sleep for the night. ]
blindrun: (8EOrDJW)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-16 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he mostly was kidding but says nothing when she agrees. kanan takes the opportunity to shift with her, turning onto his side to better hold her, but not so tight that she can't move or leave if need be. it makes it all the easier for her to get comfortable and sing a song he does not recognize and never will. the content doesn't matter so much as her voice, ancient and melodious and blanketing over the darkness as he empties out his mind.

slowly she may well feel that he falls into a meditative trance, only one where he empties out the hateful vision clouding his mind to make room for her to come in. he imagines them back in the woods, holding onto each other as the fire tries to burn them away. her voice is the only sound now and though the flames wrap around and do their best to consume them, it does nothing. it warms, intense and dangerous, without destroying. there is nothing to fear and so he does not. he lets go.

attachment is dangerous in its distraction and the want to cling to an object, a person, a life that may not exist tomorrow. he holds her hoping that tomorrow the fire will only warm and not destroy.

as simple as that, even as the woods burn around them in his mind, he is able to sleep under her voice and wrapped in her warmth.
]
blindrun: (Wepdd3u)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
[ even as the image of being engulfed by flames while holding melisandre took his mind as he slept, kanan does not dream. when he awakens it is not to eyes shot open with panic, no cold sweat, or a rush of fear that threatens to send him into a spiral of anxiety. he wakes up slow and still thoroughly exhausted, but with the sensation that there was sleep when he was sure there would be none. maybe he could sleep even longer?

with lag in his body, his head tilts slightly up from the pillow to take note of the room. he feels something has curled up between his and her's ankles and sure enough it's only the cat. he sighs, the alertness fading, and his head drops back to the pillow without so much as a fuss from his willpower. there is none in the warmth of melisandre resting against him, their arms still loose around each other, and there is little doubt in him he could fall asleep again. not a morning person indeed, and there is no reason to rush that comes to mind.

he yawns small and breathes in, not ready to get out of the grasp of sleep but not quite falling asleep again even as his body starts to wind down into rest once more.
]
blindrun: (UAPRNX6)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ he yawns, voice full of sleep- ] Just call it breakfast.

[ her way of speaking is so odd, but it reminds him a little of twi'leks and their native accent. he likes that about her, as he does many other things. he's not especially tempted to let her go and when she presses into her chest it's all the more reason to stay as still as he can. ]

How do you stay so warm... do you ever feel cold?

[ a tired thought as he tries to shake himself awake, but the warmth she exudes makes that a true trial. ]
blindrun: (i6MnL55)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 04:27 am (UTC)(link)
Not with body heat.

[ he sniffs, drifting a hand up to rest at her hair. his fingers lazily thread in, remembering the striking red it was and how it fell past her shoulders and down her back. without realizing, he smiles. ]

It alerts me to danger. A cold air out of nowhere, a bad feeling - visions do the same, sometimes.

[ it isn't perfect and comes too late to do anything about it, but he can't complain to anyone about it. the force works as it wants and he merely calls to it, as it calls to him. he learned not to use it as a crutch after many years of forcibly living without it, and he doesn't regret instilling the habit. ]
blindrun: (kanan13)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
[ kanan gives a soft hum in response, appreciating another aspect they have in common. it makes it all the easier to speak of these matters with her, when for anyone else he has to give long rambles of context to make it "easier" to get. ]

It isn't common in the galaxy, I know that much.

[ uncommon, maybe rare. the galaxy is so vast after all, but if it were more common it would certainly be exploited by now. sith abuse their visions and jedi learn from them, or so was the instruction. ]

I don't will them though. They just... sort of happen. Usually in sleep, or meditation. I try not to seek them out.
blindrun: (kanan27)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 05:04 pm (UTC)(link)
They're not reliable.

[ he yawns again, a smaller more relaxed one, and dips his head down to rest on the crown of hers. this way he can tuck her in closer, enjoy her warming presence even as he speaks on a sour topic. ]

I see seconds of the future and they aren't always what they appear. I don't avoid them so much as I don't follow them. No one steers my path but me.

[ indeed, there have been stories of jedi who saw a vision and followed it down the wrong path. he's seen it happen first hand with his apprentice too. kanan trusts in the force, but that's different from letting it dictate his path. he makes decisions for his path, not the whims of the force. ]
blindrun: (kanan08)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Mhm. If that's how you feel.

[ he can't agree with that stance and while he'd normally be inclined to make a fuss over it, it isn't a battle he wants to fight. especially when he's half-asleep and they're so comfortable together. in his head he can imagine making her so mad she'd kick him out, and wouldn't that be a shame?

so he bites his tongue.
]

I don't trust in them. That's just me. If you do, then I hope you're right more than you're wrong.

[ mostly bites his tongue. ]
blindrun: (QxWEc1k)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 06:34 pm (UTC)(link)
If you're sure.

[ he definitely killed the mood, and even his response comes out more skeptical than he would have wanted. he sighs and presses a kiss to her head, regretting even bringing the topic up, and wonders if he should get up. whether he does or not, a topic change might be a good idea before he makes her mad. ]

Any plans today?
blindrun: (qiYsL0v)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, tell me about it. [ he breathes out, not quite ready to leave her side even when he is. ] I spend my days fighting for my life or training for the next fight. Not so much here.

[ he does his meditations, practices his forms, trains with his apprentice, but every day does not bring struggle or battle in fellden. most days are peaceful than not, and it isn't a peace he's used to. it's uncomfortable in its simplicity and he waits for there to be a catch to resting here with her and not having to wonder if he'll die later the same day. he'll keep waiting. ]

How do you spend your days during the war? You don't just stare at fire all day I hope.

[ he's really asking to be kicked out with every word he breathes. she's too nice to him. ]
blindrun: (kanan09)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-17 08:10 pm (UTC)(link)
[ his arms fall to his sides as she pulls away, body shifting a little further up the bed to accommodate her. he sits up as she speaks and now he definitely misses the silence of the morning. ah well, back to the gears in his mind turning unpleasantly. ]

Security isn't bad, it's what we fight for. You - we - could use that once in a while.

[ training is important of course, and he pushes for it rigorously, but everyone could use a break, some levity in life. he looks forward to the day he can put down his lightsaber once and for all and never have to fight another battle. of course as he thinks that he remembers the all too unpleasant knowledge that the only retirement he'll get is six feet under. ]

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