voktys: (kaerīnnon)
𝔪𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔯𝔢 ([personal profile] voktys) wrote2020-04-06 02:38 pm
blindrun: (zxcVL9D)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
Mhm. It's not the first time for me, but...

[ well, he thinks he should explain himself- ] When I took the trial to be initiated as a true Jedi, I was tested on facing what I feared. I went into one of the abandoned temples of old, and was met with a vision. A manifestation of my fear.

What I saw, and confronted, was the destruction of the Jedi. The burning of our main temple, the death of our Order, and - and my own death.

[ indeed, back then it all felt real. he was just thirteen? in hindsight he wonders if it was less a test of his fear and instead a chilling vision of what was to come in less than a year. ]

Any illusion as real as what we faced would be bad, but the destruction of the Gods Wood... I don't know. It stays with me. I don't think I'll sleep well for a long time.
Edited 2020-04-15 00:01 (UTC)
blindrun: (kanan08)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
You found it soothing huh. [ he huffs quietly, a little more awake now with the low burn of alcohol in his system. ] Well, glad one of us enjoyed it.

[ he doesn't share her views but he's too winded to make a stink or argument about it. he's tired overall and in quiet disbelief when she says he helped her stay calm. that's laughable but he's not in the mood for it. ]

You were the one who kept me calm. I would have... well, I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there.

[ probably run. keep running, keep trying to escape, rather than accept what was happening in the moment. that he could accept it terrifies him as well. death comes for him soon and he thought he was at peace with the notion, but now he sees otherwise. another trial to face, so his master would surely say with a cat-like smile.

he runs a hand through the top of his hair, drifting it back to linger at his ponytail, trying to find the words.
]

I... brushed you off. Back at the play, when you asked how I was - I owe you an apology for that.

[ he was defensive and unnerved, but he thinks he could have reacted kinder to her concern. all she's ever been is kind to him and it's intimidating to deal with. he's so used to trading remarks and retorts that genuine concern is hard to accept, and even harder to think it could ever be directed his way. ]
blindrun: (kanan01)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Mhm. Well, I have alcohol in my hand so better than before.

[ the smallest breath puffs out from his nostrils and he smiles wry as he reaches for the hand she offers. he could add on a remark about how her being here is also a help, but he thinks that bit may be implied when he pushes his fingers in-between the gaps of hers and clasps their palms together. warm as ever, and it burns hotter against his cold skin.

the wind outside howls low and he finishes his drink. exhaustion is creeping into him again, but he fights it because he knows what will come if he tries to sleep. he decides to keep talking - an expert at running his mouth - to stave it off.
]

Are you doing ok? You... when we were in the woods, I saw you bleeding. Was that real?

[ he remembers how she stumbled in the woods when using her magic, and asking him if his connection to the force brought any pain with use. did setting that monster on fire take something out of her? ]
blindrun: (kanan56)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[ the offer for the bottle is very tempting, but he thinks how easy it would be to slip into old habits and drives away the lingering thoughts to go for it. he smiles at her apology. ]

We do a lot of apologizing around each other, don't we? [ he doesn't normally issue them out so much and that bugs him too. ] You don't need to be sorry for saving me.

[ he took in a lot of smoke but frankly that thing was winning on strength alone. if she didn't cast that combustion spell he could have been a goner. the same is true if she ran like he told her too, and that's one thing he won't apologize for. ]

If you're still in any pain, I do have these serums that I snagged from those firebird poachers I told you about. I was told they can heal surface wounds and relieve poisons. You can have one if you need it.
blindrun: (kanan03)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
No can do. It's the Jedi way, Melisandre. We protect those who are in need of it.

[ the oppressed, the enslaved, the rebels - jedi are peacekeepers of the galaxy. or that's how it was always meant to be at least before they started taking military ranks. he is no more a soldier, but he will always be a jedi. ]

I won't force you to take it, but it's an open offer. I have a couple vials so giving you one isn't a big deal.
blindrun: (QxWEc1k)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
[ his shoulders relax when she agrees, but her question gets a slight awkward pause from him. ]

It... wasn't my intention to stay, but. [ but. hm. ] I guess going back to my room won't really do anything for me.

[ even with the conversation to ease his mind, get his thoughts away from the burning woods, he thinks it might be better to just stay here since he already bothered her. although... ]

I'm not really in the mood. Just to be clear.

[ he says vague and unclearly. ]
blindrun: (bTpYsDO)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 11:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[ a lazy smirk twitches. ] Would've made the play a lot more fun.

[ even before the intermission and the insanity that followed, the play was so dull. he would have fell asleep if she wasn't narrating in his ear. next time he'll need to just make the first move if their thoughts were going the same way. shame burning alive has killed the desire to do anything but sleep right now, and even that his body denies him. ]

You planning on sleeping soon? Think it might be a good idea for both of us.

[ he has no concept of how late it must be, but he has enough of a hunch that he should have been asleep hours ago on a normal night. he's definitely kept her awake long enough even before he knocked on her door. ]
blindrun: (UAPRNX6)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-15 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
So that's where he is.

[ he grins and thinks of coaxing the cat out of hiding, but chances are the weird five-eyed furball might be sleeping. instead he pushes his hands up and stands, taking a moment to wind his hand to the back of his pontail and tug it loose again. ]

You don't mind if I sleep without my shirt, right?

[ he has a good feeling she won't mind one bit, but he'll ask out of politeness sake. ]
blindrun: (T7EmpjP)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-16 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ once she gives him to go-ahead, never a doubt in his mind, he pulls the tunic over his head and hangs it over a nearby chair. no time is wasted taking a seat next to her, giving himself permission to come hip to hip with her, and though he's worn out and exhausted it doesn't stop him from snaking an arm around her waist. ]

You're basically a moving heater. Doesn't bother me.

[ and yes, he has a good feeling that she has no idea what a heater is. ]
blindrun: (kanan29)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-16 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
No, no.

[ he lies as she urges, lets his hand drift to the back of her head to thread into her hair, and smiles warm when she rests on him. kanan knows well he always prefers the company of a beautiful woman beside him than not. ]

It's... a machine. [ he has to think how to word it and it's tough when he's so out of it. his voice is only the volume of a gentle mutter now. ] It generates heat. People use it when it gets really cold.

[ he thinks it makes sense. ]
blindrun: (k77L5xb)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-16 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Mhm, yeah.

[ the short-lived topic ends there, the quiet howl of the wind outside the only sound that penetrates into the room. kanan soon falls asleep, or more accurate to say exhaustion takes hold and he passes out, unperturbed by melisandre resting over him. nothing in the room moves but the flame of the candles and the cat adjusting its curl under the bed.

then kanan jolts, eyes opening to a dark world and inhaling a sharp breath. his heart beat spikes erratic and prickles of shivers rise on his skin. slowly he breathes, trying to regain a normal pace and calm his heart, and rises to sit up in the bed forgetting his partner beside him in the moment.
]

Damn... [ he breathes out quiet and touches a hand to his face, cold and lightly shaking. ]
blindrun: (05)

[personal profile] blindrun 2020-04-16 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[ instictive and immediate, kanan's hand snaps up to grip her wrist when his face is touched. the grip is just as quickly loosened when the low burn touch reminds him that he fell asleep with melisandre. he breathes out heavy, eyes closing and face turning off to the side with apology. ]

Yeah.

[ vivid in the moment and now fading into the dark, he doesn't quite let go of her hand yet. it helps him stay grounded and remember where he is. he doesn't have it in him to face her in the moment, but he thinks he owes her some explanation. ]

I lost my sight a year ago. That illusion - it's the first time I've been able to see since.

[ it feels like one of many reasons why he keeps seeing it. the disturbance, the destruction of sacred land, and the sensation of burning alive. how is he the only one bothered by this between them? ]
Edited 2020-04-16 17:09 (UTC)

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-16 18:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-16 18:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-16 19:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-16 21:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-16 22:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-16 22:58 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-16 23:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 00:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 04:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 15:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 17:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 18:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 18:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 19:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 20:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 21:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 22:08 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-17 23:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-18 15:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-18 16:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] blindrun - 2020-04-18 18:30 (UTC) - Expand